News: Is the Canine Remote Control a Major Threat to Dog Security?

The Canine Remote Control Lets You Walk Your Dog Hands-Free from a Computer [!!!!!!]

Read more: The Canine Remote Control Lets You Walk Your Dog Hands-Free from a Computer | Inhabitat - Sustainable Design Innovation, Eco Architecture, Green Building 

Some analysts (See FN1) think the Canine Remote Control may be a major threat to Dog Security. 

FN1: Todd Weabner

Dog Confrontation #5: Meta-Dog Confrontation

Unit #1: Often, Simplicity 

Unit #2: is Just Pans Clattering

Punchline

Dog Confrontation #4: Humpday

Unit #1, female Labrador retreaver, brownish, in heat, answers to name of "Utah"
Units #2 - ????? [numerous]:  dozens of sexually aroused male dogs

Location:  Baden, Maryland

DESCRIPTION
Unit #1 enters dog park, in lots of heat.  Units #2-????? become sexually aroused, begin "humping" in/around the air (per Andrew Turner, owner of Unit #1), advancing upon Unit #1 in romantic fashion. Owner of Unit #1 vamooses with Unit #1, out of range of disappointed male dog Units #2-????? [numerous].

Dog Confrontation #3: Submitted by Anonymous

 Location: Dog park, Georgia

Time: 04/14/2014

Submitted by:  Anonymous reader of DogConfrontations.com  [!!! -- Todd]

Description:

Out with Unit 1 (undetermined mixed breed on the verge of looking adorably cute but on closer inspection just odd looking short blond). Units 2-7 (mixed group, poodle to collie mixed). Older woman with carrier bag, old frail man, 4 other young to middle age women  [No humans depicted in submitted diagram -- Todd]

Diaphragm 1: A Dog Park in Georgia

Unit 1 enters dog park. Immediately circled by Unit 2 (English hunting dog)closely circling Unit 1 as he follows owner (older woman with carrier bag) to a free bench. Units 3-7 proceed to also circle Unit 1 as he hides under bench. Unit 2 jumps on bench with older woman, sticks nose into carrier bag. Frail older man yells at Unit 2 "be polite"

It finally dawns on older woman on bench that she has managed to go to a dog park with a carrier bag of fresh rotisserie chicken. Confrontation ends with older woman feeding Unit 2 large hunks of boned chicken to lure him out of the park so that the frail older owner can very, very, very slowly and grumpily leave the park. Older woman, sans chicken but with greasy dog spit covered hands reenters enclosed dog park and is told by young and middle aged women that "most parks have signs telling you not to bring in food." Older woman with carrier bag and Unit 1 leave the park.

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Freudian Analysis: Dog Confrontation #1, Nature of Conscious Dreamstate

Alternative unit descriptions for  Dog Confrontation #1, yellow dog v. brown dog

LOCATION:  The unconscious mind during sleep

Unit #1:  The ID
Unit #2: The EGO
Unit #3: The Watcher (The SUPEREGO)

Id and Ego struggle for supremacy during sleep according to some analysts  (see FN1). This is remarkably similar what occurred during Dog Confrontation #1 (and #2, perhaps all DCs) and bears Watching (Unit #3)

FN1: Todd Weabner

Dog Confrontation #1: Yellow Dog attempts to kill Brown Dog with neck biting, thwarted by muzzle

Date: 4/10/14 

Location: Brownies Beach, Chesapeake Beach* 

Unit 1: Yellow dog, curly hair, unknown breed, lab sized

Unit 2:  Brown dog, flat hair, unknown breed, lab sized
Unit 3: Female Owner of Unit 2 (not pictured), bossy, kind of rednecky
Unit 4: Male Owner of Unit 1 (not pictured), older, with wife, quietish

Unit 1 ambulating around LOCATION, freely, sans leash, but muzzled. Unit 1 ambulated up to Unit 2, soon was on top of Unit 2, attempting to gnaw on Unit 2's neck. However, muzzle prevented this.  Unit 3 became upset because Unit 4 very slow to react to situation.  Unit 1 and Unit 2 separated by owners to different areas of LOCATION.  However, Unit 3 continued to yell invectives at Unit 4, such as  "Are you fucking serious dude? Are you serious? Your dog tried to kill my dog, Dude." Unit 4 did not respond and eventually left LOCATION with his wife.  

* NOTE: 1 of 2 Dog Confrontations to occur within 24 hours at LOCATION

Dog Confrontation #2: Second at the Beach in 2 Days.

Location: Brownie's Beach Park, Chesapeake Beach, Maryland
Saturday, 4/12/14
Temperature: A pleasant and mild 65º

Diagram:

Unit 1:  Dog #1, black lab
Unit 2:  Dog #2, yellow lab
Unit 3:  Arlo
Unit 4:  Me
Unit 5: Male Owner of #1, Yellow shirt, shorts.  Prep-school like demeanor.
Unit 6: Female Owner of #1, Tank-top. mid 30s Looked well-educated.
Unit 7: Male Owner of #2, 50s?, wearing a lot of clothing
Unit 8: Female Owner of #2, indistinct older female, no notable characteristics
Object 9: Driftwood wedding arch with sign reading "Wedding. 12:00-2:00 Be Considerate"
Object 10: Bridge made out of driftwood by me several weeks earlier
Object 11: Bridge made by town
Object 12: Stream from swamp to the bay

Description:
Owners of Unit 1 and Unit 2 allowed Unit 1 and Unit 2 to play. Unit 1 and Unit 2 utilized olfactory glands on each others' posteriors. Owners each agreed that the dogs would play and that they were both friendly.  After several moments Unit 2 left the area and proceeded to the woods.  "He's got a lot of puppy in him" was Unit 5's explanation of this behavior.  Unit 2 soon returned and chased Unit 1 in a circle several times around Units 5-8, who became increasingly upset.  Unit 2 began issuing growling noises and Units 5-6 (Owners of Unit 1) insisted that Unit 7 (Male owner of Unit 2) "Get your fucking dog [...] You pussy. [...] You don't know how to handle your dog. You've had it two weeks and you don't know a thing about that dog." This language increased in intensity.   Owners of Unit 2 then took Unit 2 and left the scene, proceeding down the beach.

Several minutes later, owners of Unit 2 returned to the scene and confronted owners of Unit 1.  Use of obscenity continued as the two couples walked back up the hill and as Units 7-8...returned to their residence.  Turns out they live next door to us.